This is the best thing I’ve seen. It’s a fight amongst suburban Danes about dog shit.

For those of you lucky enough not to know: dog shit is somewhat of an epidemic in Denmark. I’ve never had it dansplained as a ‘negative form of politeness’ or ‘just the way Danes are: deal with it’, so I’m not sure why exactly that is. My take is that people just feel entitled to do whatever the fuck they want, so why would they bend down with a plastic bag and feel how warm their dog’s poo is?

Anyway, let’s get some popcorn because someone is mad about it.


Red: It’s gone wrong again dear dog owners Fucking filth !!!!!



Orange: Agreed…. It’s just a bit difficult and find the dog owner… Heheh

Red: Yes unfortunately, Orange (;

Lime: Ew basterd

Orange: Where is it?

Orange: And is it usually bad there??

Red: By the shared housing commune, forest hill path towards the subway underpass

Blue: Someone’s got shit on their shoes! :’)

Red: And who do you think that was, Blue??

Blue: The wolf?

Blue: Or you? :D

Red: Good Guess my boy

Dark pink: Oh no! We just have to hope that the dog is on Facebook and in this group so they can see it themselves!!!

Red: You trying to be cute, Dark pink?

Yellow: Look on the bright side dear Red, you could have been bare footed ! First world’s problems


(I rather think the lack of safe disposal of hazardous waste is also a third world problem but ok)


Purple: Hello I am a dog owner myself but often see, that the bags with shit in them are thrown on the ground.

Cyan: Unbelievable people can’t tidy up after their dog, their best friend. That can’t be. As far as I know, you’re not allowed to have a dog in forest hill. You can look after a holiday dog but you should also look after these (accidents). Tidy up after yourself. There’s no one that thought about sliding in one. :-( :-(. Not even you with a dog :(

Green: Of course it’s not okay and filthy. But why should all of us, who have fuck all to do with it, be “punished” with a cloying picture of a smeared shit thrown at us on Facebook? What are you trying to achieve? I think recently all the grumpy old men and their petty problems have been filling up too much of this wall.

Cyan: Green, I liked Red’s status. Many that follow fb, and many more will get to read it. Also many might feel embarrassed about this filth in an otherwise dog free area. You maybe have a dog yourself? That you don’t even want to clean up after. Ugh, shame on you :(

Green: There’s nothing wrong with the message. It’s how it is delivered and the forum it is delivered in. Like everyone in this area is a badly behaved dog owner. And such a foolish comment that I should be ashamed. You know nothing about me. That’s exactly my point, that grumpy men like you, tar us with the same brush, if there’s something they’re not happy about. As far as I am aware, there is neither nor ought there to be anywhere in the local area that is declared dog free. Luckily.


The reply from Cyan which came in after I did the screenshots:-

I’m not grumpy. It just sounded like you had a dog yourself and didn’t care about the leftovers.

Of course there should be space for dogs. But in an area where you are not allowed to have dogs, the owner should make damn sure they tidy up after their fiddle.


And this argument about nothing is everything I have been saying about Denmark for six years.

  • Someone has a complaint about something because it directly affected them
  • Some people agree it is bad (but what can you do?)
  • A guy makes a joke which doesn’t really land
  • Someone passive aggressively tells off the complainant for complaining
  • Someone else tells him to think positively and be grateful for what he has
  • Someone else agrees it is a bad thing at length
  • Someone else says the complainant is making people who do not do the bad thing feel bad and it’s just grumpy old men who complain
  • One of the so-called grumpy old men accuses him of, in fact, doing that very bad thing if he’s saying they shouldn’t talk about it

No one thinks of solutions to the problem. No one asks “how do other cultures deal with this more successfully?” They just go round and round with the same old dance. Jokes, passive aggression, “positivity”, not-all-dog owners, ad hominem attacks.

I think it’s funny myself. Also, I think it’s interesting to see how they interact in this space. If they were to meet in the street, even where the dog shit was, they wouldn’t say anything to each other without prior appointment a month in advance.






4 thoughts on “Fightbooking

  1. It’s funny because it proves you are right, but the discussion itself is so boring and predictable. Why do they even bother to talk to each other???


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