Bullshit takedown

A commenter suggests that because her Danish husband vouches for all Danish men, the study that shows that Danish women are sexually assaulted is exaggerated. 

Furthermore, she heard somewhere that Danish women get drunk and lie to the police about being raped after regretting sex.Image

Pretty much: no, that’s bullshit. The majority never tell the police. 

Also, look at the EU average of reporting. The dansplanation de jour is that Danish women know they don’t have to put up with that shit hence greater figures in the report compared with other EU countries, where women’s rights haven’t won yet. 

But look, women in other EU countries feel slightly more able to go to the police. The overwhelming reason for not reporting to the police in Denmark is ‘it seemed too minor’



Can we deal with the issue now or should we try to defend the feelings of Danish men who aren’t violent and somehow feel that finding out that other Danish men are is UNFAIR to them?


Do we need to look for more hand waving reasons to prove these women are over reacting lying bitches who don’t know how good they have it? Or can we accept there is a problem and look for a way forward?

18 thoughts on “Bullshit takedown

  1. Why does talking about this always get derailed onto some other conversation?
    Why can’t we fix this huge problem without being told we don’t care about other problems?


  2. Sure, fights where both parties got stuck in happen. And women hitting men, without men retaliating happens.

    And these things are really bad.

    But that’s not what these stats are telling us, is it?

    The incidence of women attacking men IS a minority, it’s a fraction of the figures the other way around.

    Saying that the high figures for attacks in Denmark has something to do with some women starting the fights, is specious.


  3. Ok, so let’s look at stats.

    The stats available are a problem because of under reporting and the way that the gender of victims is not linked to the gender of the attacker. However, I think we can get a glimpse at what’s going on.

    Just taking ‘violence’ and ‘serious violence’ of the criminal code:

    Men are overwhelmingly the victims of violence.

    Those found guilty of violence:-


    The study from the EU asked women who were attacked by non-partners, what group attacked them. The majority had men involved in the attack.

    The women victims in those police statistics are overwhelmingly being attacked by men.

    As women are much more rarely found guilty of violence in general, it’s safe to say that it’s not women attacking men this much, it’s other men.

    I’m not denying it’s a problem but you’re saying it like ‘they’re both as bad as each other,’ when the reality is that around 52% of women in Denmark have been attacked, usually by men.

    I even had a look at the stats for domestic violence against men

    “Sundheds- og sygelighedsundersøgelsen 2010 (SUSY 2010), hvor 6.964 mænd besvarede spørgsmål om udsættelse for trusler om vold, fysisk vold og seksuelle overgreb inden for det seneste år.
    o Kærestevoldsundersøgelsen i 2011 hvor 1.234 mænd i alderen 16-24 år besvarede spørgsmål om udsættelse for fysisk, psykisk og seksuel vold i og uden for kæresteforhold inden for det seneste år.”

    Compared with

    “Blandt 16-74-årige kvinder angiver 1,4 %, at de inden for et år har været udsat for fysisk vold fra partneren. Det svarer til omkring 26.000. Omkring halvdelen af kvinderne har været udsat for vold en enkelt gang i løbet af det seneste år. Over halvdelen af kvinder, som udsættes for fysisk vold af partneren, bliver f.eks. rusket, revet elle slået med flad hånd, hvilket defineres som mildere fysisk vold.

    Omkring 10.000 har været udsat for grovere vold gentagne gange, dvs. spark, knytnæveslag, kast med genstande, brug af våben og kvælertag. Ca. 1.800, (1 promille), kontakter årligt en skadestue pga. voldsudsættelse i bolig. Men kun 450 kvinder politianmeldte i 2010 voldsudsættelse fra samboende mand, svarende til 0,3 pr. 1000 kvinder i alderen 16-74 år.”

    It could be as high as 32% according to the EU study.

    Let’s stop derailing this conversation about male on female violence?


    1. Nah man, false reports are a very small sliver of a percentage.
      Nuance is fine but it’s really not the time or the place to talk about violence against men by women because a report about violence against women (mostly by men), just came out.

      I know you bring it up as a sort of a backdrop to what might be going on but I don’t think it’s okay to try to say that the results came out the way they did because women are starting the fights or lying about it.

      I agree there is a massive underreporting of violence by women against men but we can talk about *that* when a report comes out about it, surely?


  4. Yes, that was a real mature way to respond to my comment. Typical of foreigners in Denmark. Did you know the school you taught at, the one that employs foreigners, let my daughter be beaten on an almost daily basis? Every Dane I talked to was HORRIFIED but apparently to the British and other foreign staff it was perfectly ok. I know some very rough Danish men (the type who constantly get in bar fights) and even they would think what you are suggesting is utter BS. I happen to know a Danish woman who claimed to be raped and when she told me what she thought was rape, I almost fell off my chair. Danish men are some of the most gentle in the world and they are good – some of the best husbands and the best fathers. I say this having had a restraining order against my American ex-husband and another girl recently getting him convicted on assault and stalking charges. I have never witnessed any of this behavior in Danish men. I’m sorry, but your attack on the men of Denmark is just too far especially when they don’t really make them any better than that.


  5. Ok, I see. It would be interesting to find out why it is happening. Presumably the rates of attacks are similar across Europe (and indeed other countries), but WHY are men attacking women in such large numbers? That would be interesting to find out.


  6. Hmm… seems like Danish men are too wimpish to be ‘violent enough’…? And that Danish women don’t truly understand what constitutes ‘true violence’ so maybe what they report isn’t REAlly violence after all? Is this the argument lovemydane is making? I’m totally confused here.


    1. I think that’s quite an uncharitable reading of my blog, actually. I used to write almost every time “NOT ALL DANES” and qualify my statements and it didn’t make any difference: I still got attacked.

      Once I got told off by a reader: you should say it’s your personal opinion. At the time, my subtitle wasn’t “Winter is coming” it was “A personal view” and what ELSE could I have done? You can’t please everyone.

      But at the same time, my Danish readership was growing and THEY got it. They got I didn’t mean THEY were dandroids or that they were dansplaning. They got that I meant a particular type of person or behaviour. So, I just stopped qualifying what I said with “not you, the OTHER Danes”. Because god knows, a lot of my Danish readers recognised what I was saying. My boyfriend comes home from work and says “We have a new guy. He is definitely a dandroid.”
      It is meant with love. And also, the stereotype of a bore at a party who tells you how minimum wage works is nothing like the stereotype of a terrorist or whathaveyou. It’s not “all stereotypes are bad!” there is nuance even in how bad stereotypes are.

      The people I get the most shit from, funnily enough, are foreigners who know they are not staying very long or have already left. One of those mysteries of life that I don’t have time to get to the bottom of.

      Why do you think I’m called Amy, out of interest?


  7. Next time you meet a dandroid, you will probably come over to the word’s side. It’s a very specific type of person and there are a lot of them in Fredericia.

    I haven’t used the word a lot though, in this blog, I mean. They’ve sort of got a free pass because I am not mad at them, just sad they can’t think for themselves.


  8. >Jeg kan stadig ikke lide ordet Dandroids.

    Verden er for lille til en mand (eller en dansker), der har ondt af sig selv.

    Og problemet med mænds vold mod kvinder er af en helt anden størrelsesorden end omvendt. Som tallene også viser; alt andet er bortforklaringer. Nogle mænd føler sig måske truet af stærke kvinder og finder derfor vold nødvendig eller undskyldelig, men det siger nok en hel del mere om dem, end det gør om voldsstatistikken.


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