I have been so stressed out. There’s the boyfriend in Afghanistan. There is my school closing down. There is the stress of being foreign. I am ill all the time. Plus all the normal stresses on a person. It has been too much.
When they announced the school closure hearing process about this time last year, I worked out that their plans were completely unworkable and not fully costed. When I asked for clarification, I was subjected to “I cannot understand your Danish” by Peder Hvejsel. Then the politicians in Fredericia all lined up to say that the plans did work and no one else really challenged them even though they were lying. Maybe a dozen people stood up and fought?
And so, we were closed.
My choice was: work in a school which has not been properly thought through OR find a new job.
As much as I love my classes, I love my mental health soooo much more. Which meant I submitted my C.V. to schools around the country.
I got a call from a school, asking if I could teach maths from “ASAP” and I said “No, I couldn’t do that to them.”
Then I lost a baby and needed some days off to recover. And my bosses went into overdrive, trying to “control” the situation and be able to say they “did” something about me. I had four or five meetings with them about my absences. One of which, my boss told me to go back to my own country “if you hate it” four times. Another of which, a stranger was invited and told my medical issues without my permission. Another of which, an “expert” in internal climate, invited to investigate the indoor pollution in my workplace, had written “PSYKISK?” on her notes about me before she met me.
I almost had a nervous breakdown. I was so close to losing it. And something snapped inside of me.
The next time the same school contacted me, it was to teach science and maths. From January. And I said “I am torn but I would love to.”
And I am torn. I love my classes, my children are so adorable and I cannot imagine not getting to see them develop. But I have to get out. If I do not get a job for next summer, I have to leave the country. This new job is permanent.
My classes have taken it well and with great maturity and grace. I love them so much and I will miss them loads. And I happen to know the teachers taking over are great and will do a wonderful job. That is a major relief. I would hate for my students to lose out.
So, I do not have to worry about my job anymore. I have a job. I will have a new job next summer. I will not be unemployed. And my job is pretty exciting and rad and I will get to move to Aarhus in about six to nine months.
Meanwhile, finally I have a doctor who knows what he is doing and I have been to the endocrinologist and I am suffering from Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. Hence: all the illness, tiredness, aches, anxiety, night terrors, swollen neck glands, weight gain, infertility. I have had this for two years at least. I have medicine now and hopefully it will kick in soon and I will have normal health again.
When my boyfriend comes back in February, I will only have a few things to worry about. A normal amount of concerns. A reasonable amount of irritation and worry.
I am so excited, I cannot wait.