Recent addition to the doors on trains. Before, people would try to cram themselves on or door block like cocks, forcing those who wished to disembark to fight for egress.

As with most things that are translated into English in Denmark, it is an instruction. May I remind you that this is a land which sends letters about absolute beginners’ Danish courses IN Danish because

“oh no oh no! English isn’t a state language and if we start translating THOSE letters, where will we stop? and BESIDES a lot of people speak Tlingit and Welsh and we can’t very well translate for those people too!”

Signs like this are translated even though anglophonic foreigners and tourists most likely already know this if their culture demands basic courtesy and awareness.

Seems to me, these signs are not exclusively in the official language of Danish because what would that say about the people who need to read them?

If you want information in English, you are shit out of luck because it is your own fault that you do not understand Danish. This is as true for the announcements on trains as for the letters from the state as for the “unspoken rules” in the Danish workplace.

Instructions, however, are readily translated because everyone can see that the dirty foreigner needs to be schooled and tamed.

7 thoughts on “Selvfølgelig

  1. I see people blocking exit all the time in metro here. When I see them do that, I always try my best getting out from the metro trying and walking right toward them, forcing them to step aside. WTF man. I thought people are taught manners here. Oh wait…


    1. That’s what frustrates me about “Daycare is for learning social skills” argument. Evidently not the social skill negotiating busy doors with dignity and awareness.

      Just the “skill” of following an all knowing unquestionable leader and getting along with a small to medium group of peers by consensus.

      Sorry, Dk, that’s not good enough. This is a nation of Me First Gimme Gimme Gimmes.


  2. In England, for example, if someone behaves LIKE A DANE, people TEND to be more patient with THAT SORT OF BEHAVIOUR than they used to be. This is because there is so much more AWARENESS these days and anger management, or even concessions for people who have ‘special needs’. We learn that just because people behave like they are a cock, there might be some underlying reason for this behavior, they could have ‘special needs’, be brain damaged for example, or have no spatial awareness, in which case, we must give them the benefit of the doubt, hold back from judging and just try and keep ‘our end up’. A person behaving like a Dane on a train MIGHT (instead) be brain damaged, or they could be drunk, in which case, again, we have got so much better and empathic and wise these days, we might hold back from reacting because they COULD be drunk, or substance abusers…in which case, one is wise NOT to react, so in comes anger management, we count to ten and just steer round the problem and continue our way with decorum.

    If someone is behaving LIKE A DANE ON A TRAIN (registered trade mark) we tend to be more patient than we perhaps were in the darker ages when we would just presume they were rude and inconsiderate and so far up their own arse they couldn’t see daylight or indeed plain stupid, because we understand TODAY that there may be some underlying problem that the awareness of nudges us to hold back from reacting or judging. Hell, we might even be sympathetic…oh bless that poor person who doesn’t know what they are doing and makes life the more challenging for others due to their uncoordinated movements and random acts of boorish belligerence.

    But sometimes when people are acting LIKE A DANE ON A TRAIN, sometimes, it is because they ARE cocks, or indeed Danish by upbringing, and then we can simply all mutter under our breaths or indeed out loud, as I, personally am wont to: “Oh what utter cocks, would you look at the way they bundle on and off public transport with so little regard for each other, like feral children brought up on a bad estate all vying for a piece of candy?” or “Oh those Danes! Would you just look at them bundling on and off public transport with so little regard for each other, like …like…uh, uh DANES.”

    What a fucking joke they need a sign to tell them how to get off a freaking train. I am so looking forward to the signs in cafes asking people to shut the fuck up about their summers in the fucking summerhouse and their fucking frikkafuckingdella. Conversations so boring and repetitive that cause sentient beings to want to claw their own faces or run amok with a heavy tool should be advised against for the good of all!

    (Cue a load of tosspots who send you photos of instructions on trains from other countries, lest we forget it would be the same/much worse in ….etc etc)

    Love you darling xx


  3. Hey, does anybody want I reserved it thinking it might be useful, but realized pissing up a rope would prove much simpler and gratifying.

    Lemme know if anyone wants it, and I can transfer it to you, etc. via


      1. Hmmm, maybe. I doubt it, though. He’s just gotten the wrong end of the stick and so have his followers, who seem to think grandiose acts of kindness are the answer, while never accepting the importance of first mastering the basics.


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